The High History of the Holy Quail
The first volume in the
End of All Magick saga


There are only two rules in l - It’s Not Fair and Don’t Be Late, as Slouch finds when he is apprenticed to Vizagriz, wizard of Al Faq’Ahl.

  • Is all Magick a consequence of a mysterious artefact known as The Holy Quail?

  • What is the InterWeb?

  • What exactly are heroes for?

  • And why does there have to some drippy woman along on every Quest?

Slouch finds out more than he wanted about the amatory proclivities of Faerie Folk, is arrested by the Enchanted Cops and discovers what happens when Deities fancy a bit of telly late of an Era.


"A comic fantasy masterpiece in the honoured footsteps of Fritz Leiber, Lord Dunsanay and whoever wrote The Revelation of St John the Divine."


Customer reviews at Amazon

"This book is a hoot! It's like Harry Potter for grown ups, Tolkien with jokes and Pratchett with an edge to it. Definitely the best Fantasy read in yonks!"

"This book is BRILLIANT! Better than Pratchett or Moorcock or Craig Shaw Gardner. It is the most intelligent pastiche on the whole fantasy genre I have EVER read. I can't wait for the next two volumes. When are they coming out?" 

                                              See all Amazon reviews here


Buy this book on Lulu. or at Amazon  See the Lulu Preview here



Looney Runes


A funny thing happened on the way to the Metaphorest. The Magick is gone. Suddenly, grown to full size without the existence of extropy to keep them thumb-height, the Faerie Folk have to find a new way and a new place to live. But there is hope – the Crystal Dwarfs are dying out and they want an infusion of new blood, preferably female, not too tall and a bit dim. The King of Elfland leads his motley tribe of Imps, Emps, Amps and Umps to the Hole of the Mountain King because the Diamond Duke and five guys named Mho take a shine to Princess Titania and her gels. Little does anyone know that some vestige of Magick still resides in certain crystals. Anyone, that is, except Lobster Rampant of the Third Ear and his band of New Age Dippies.

Will Titania get married in white shoes and a mini-dress? Will Prince Vince stage a takeover?
And who is Idaho Jonah?

Read this, and you’ll be none the wiser.

This book is mything something important – New York Review of Gooks

Cutting-edge socio-political satire with 60s mystical undertones – Family Circle

Why would anyone invent a complete religious cosmology that makes no sense? – The Watchtower

Buy this book on Lulu.


Further books in this series will follow:



How to succeed in education without really crying